Ditch Perfection
Embrace the moment
I recently read an article that talked about striving for perfection and how the author believed that this was having a detrimental effect on individual experience and by extension society. In it the author Jonathan Biss discussed his thoughts on how the goal of perfection interferes with connecting to the action.
How is the need for perfection stunting your life? So many times in my previous work I heard the term “but I am a perfectionist so I have to…”
The first time I heard someone prescribe stepping back from going at things one hundred percent I was in my late 20’s and already through my first college experience. It did help me in my future endeavors when I returned to school. I witnessed a professional suggest and even push the idea of not having to be the best as a means for actually doing better. What? When we have as our singular goal that of perfection we tend to ignore other things in our lives. Things like self care, pacing ourselves, looking at the realistic nature of our stated goals. When we take a step back and allow ourselves to be imperfect we create an environment in which we can thrive. I’ve tried it out, it does work.
How did you do it?
Well let’s just say I continue to pursue this path, but my first experience is detailed below.
After hearing this I resolved to devote the next semester of my course work to this idea. Instead of all nighters and cramming I focused on the balance of my life as a person who was pursuing a degree while also working full time. I saw that spending all my time on school work was not feasible. So I sketched out how much time I would devote to my schoolwork and proceeded to take the plunge. I would adhere to 2-3 hours of study outside the classroom for every semester hour of coursework. Generally I was taking less than a full load due to my full time work, but as the degree program went on it became heavier.
What happened?
I chose to devote one semester to this plan. I was taking two classes which meant 6 semester hours. That meant that I needed to spend 12-18 hours per week in study. Having this plan resulted in several things.
#1-I had to plan my study time in advance as much as possible.
#2-I got more sleep than I had in previous semesters.
Because I had to plan things out more I had more time to devote to things like sleep. Sleep was also something that I had in my life balance basket so it was great that it turned out this way. It also helped me to socialize more through the semester which made me a happy camper as well.
#3—I was easier to get along with and generally a happier person.
#4—I did as well or better in my course work.
Yes, even though I didn’t study every waking moment and lose sleep I did as well and at times even better. The semester ended with a positive note.
Less is More
So as I reviewed I had heard about this concept before in my writing pursuits. Teachers would often state “Less is More” when critiquing writing by class members. It clearly works in other venues as well.
Be in the Moment
One of the things that this piece put forward is that when all of our thoughts are on perfecting our performance we are taken away from the thing we are wanting to be good at. The striving for the perfect is clouding everything such that we find it harder to focus on the here and now and being with the craft we are wanting to perfect. What I found in my school experiment is that when I focused on my whole self who was also a student I did better as a student because I was better rested, better fed, and just all around more balanced.
Being in the moment also allows us to connect meaningfully with our craft and to enjoy it. We may even be willing to take more risks when we are not hindered by the thought of being perfect and getting it right every time. We often learn as much or more from our mistakes so avoiding them may just hinder our progress. The suggestion isn’t that we intentionally make mistakes, but rather that we don’t not act due to our need to be perfect and miss an opportunity to sink or soar.
See what you think and share it with me.
The article that inspired this piece—The Quest for Perfection Is Stunting Our Society—is here. My apologies if there is a paywall by the New York Times.